OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
