I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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