I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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