why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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