That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
my poor anus
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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