I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
