just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
