remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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