Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
