I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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