i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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