The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
