I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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