she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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