I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
