Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
