holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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