It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
