you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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