I can text with my tongue
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
