then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
