i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
