Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I FOUND THE LEGS
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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