i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
