haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
