like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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