Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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