$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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