I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
