I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
