Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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