Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
