I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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