Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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