HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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