My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
