I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
