And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
