worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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