we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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