Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
