i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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