Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
