Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
