five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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