Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
