Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
