The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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