he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
