Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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