I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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