Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
