Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
